I give my all to You

Monday, July 23, 2007

yesterday was the most impactful service for me this year! (: not because PGC preached(he preached good though (:) but because i could really feel God! well the whole service was fun! especially serving with Ruth and Abby (: haha. CH smile, CH codeword. bah! GAH! :)
so Ruth, Ruth and Abby were serving as bulletin-ers and greeters (: heh. so fun! yeah. we missed praise and i wanted to miss worship. i just couldn't face God yeah?

so during worship sat with chuyi and valerina. hiazx. i think chuyi is still angry with me cause i said that to rachel. but yeah. i didn't mean to hurt her feelings.
God was speaking to me during worship.. i couldn't sing, i couldn't lift up my hands.so i just stood there responding to God. he said this:

" Ruth. i know that you love me. you love my people. in times of need and trouble, you're there. you put aside your troubles for them. you sacrifice for them. and it hurts when you cant be there with them because you love them. surrender them. i love them too. and i will help you love them even more.....i don't want you to carry their burdens for them but give them to me. i want you. to carry my fire. to carry it to your school. your class and people around you...."

i know we shouldn't cry. it isn't wrong but crying leads to self pity which is bad :( when God told me that i cried because i love God. and i was determined to do what God has told me to. it was so GOOD! (: to know that God knew what i was going through ! (:

yeah. sermon came. and i didn't expect God to speak to me because the sermon was on the power of the holy spirit, not surrendering or anything to deal with wat i was going through. but God works in his small and miraculous ways! (: i just took out my bible didn't want to write sermon notes. so i just concentrated on PGC's preaching. and the first verse he spoke strucked me.

John 14:15-17 (New International Version)

Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit

15"If you love me, you will obey what I command. 16And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— 17the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be^[a] in you.

yeah. the link. and then, every sentence he spoke struck me. every sentence there was something that i was going through. something that i was guilty of.but this one struck me the most : " if you do not want to grieve the holy spirit, the only thing you can do is surrender. there's no other way."

everything started falling into place from then on.i knew then why i had tried to surrender so many times but i failed. it was because my heart wasn't ready. there i decided to surrender and to start everything as a new day(:. with God by my side:). bro Andy prayed for me. he told me that God was telling me to carry his fire. to my school to my class......YEAH! (:

welcome

(a quote from Marianne Williamson)
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some, it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

femme

RUTHgohenhui
2E4'08