i just don't know where i am anymore. that feeling is BADBADBAD!
i want to be a part of it. yet i want to be apart. the numbness to that never works.
i just cant trust myself anymore. haha. yeah?
this two weeks have been weeks of spiritual warfare. as much as i want to see IGNYTE grow, to see myself grow, i don't want to go through anymore.
i just don't think i am ready. but? when will i be?

and my mind is in a turmoil.


The Blade
I've been walking around with a pain in my back
Never seen it coming, only felt the attack
Into the left side, out through the heart
Our friendship mutilated, you cut it apart
I've heard all the lies, they could never be true
Now I can't believe I once trusted you
I've been walking around with a pain in my back
the blade that's inside me? It'll slice your neck

yeah. i feel so guilty reading this but at the same time i want someone to feel guilty. i just want those nasty feelings to go away, i want the calming presence of God to come.i just DON'T WANT TO feel alone.i know i am not. but i feel like i am. GAH! i am so confused! :) ytd was so fun! FUEL especially.weeee (:
yeah. haha. it was funny praying for a guy to get over the lost of his not-so-dead brother.yeah! haha. i wonder if God will answer fake prayers. i feel helpless. i cant study, i cant serve, i cant play sports and neither can i have the passion of God so strong. i think it got too high during camp and all of a sudden it just dropped.

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some, it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

(a quote from Marianne Williamson)
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some, it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.



RUTHgohenhui
2E4'08 March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008

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